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Joke of the Day
"""He died doing what he loved..."" I'm not dead ""Interrupting my jokes"""
Next Joke
"Your mama is so poor She voted for Bernie Sanders! Bern!"
"What do Mexicans play at their funerals? Another Juan Bites The Dust"
"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."
"If I make you breakfast in bed, all I need is a simple thank you Not all this ""how the hell did you get in my house"" and ""I'm calling the cops"" business"
"on the ISS... what did the American Astronaut say to the Cosmonaut? What did the American Astronaut say to the fast moving Cosmonaut? Stop Russian around."
"The Irish Alligator His name was Croc O'Dile."
"Two player prison game Prisoner One: Do you want to play the rape game? Prisoner Two: No! Prisoner One: That's the spirit!"
"What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines? A greydient"
"[grocery shopping] ""Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER"" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS"