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Joke of the Day
"My coffee reminded me of Ferguson today Dark and full of shots."
Next Joke
"if you are on a magazine cover with the headline 'my new body' and that body is not, like, a cheetah or horse, missed opportunity"
"What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf."
"I would tell you a joke about a vampire... ...but it would probably suck."
"Why did the cop shoot the insomniac? He was resisting a rest"
"What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy? The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!"
"What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!"
"Why did the pimp cross the lawn? To get to the hoes."
"I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable."
"Breaking up with Japanese Girls. I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it."