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Joke of the Day

"I almost got hit by a car today, but due to a swift maneuver I was able to not get hit. It was a Dodge."

"Part time lover Is any benefit of part time lover. Scheduled time for any"

"My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything. You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"What does your mom and my fantasy football team have in common? As soon as I put money on them, they suck."

"Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby? You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat"

"What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down!"

"Who called it freeze dried pork and not 6 degrees Kelvin Bacon?"

"In rest homes, when lovers have spats, do they key each other's walkers???"

"Why was simba grounded? Because he was lion! Please. Please kill me.."

"Ke$ha is what all drunk white girls look like to drunk black dudes."