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Joke of the Day

"Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat."

"If you touch your computer in all the right places... You can turn it on"

"Guy: Do you like Cds? Girl: Um, sure that's a weird question why? Guy: Cuz u about to see deez nuts!"

"What do Shakespearian Buddhists eat for breakfast? Om and cheese Hamlets."

"What did Joe Hill say when someone asked if he was Joe King? ""No, I'm dead serious."""

"I wasn't able to apply for a job in the Endoscopy unit... ... it was internal application only."

"What's worse than morning wood? Mourning wood"

"You wanna see the most dangerous animal in the world mate? Go look in the mirror. (I've locked an adult male puma in their bathroom)"

"The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a dog."

"Girl, you must be Saint Peter... Cuz you've denied me three times already."