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Joke of the Day

"Life is all about perspective The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"Just had sex in an Apple Orchard. I came in cider."

"The movie spoiler you won't be able to avoid this Xmas! It turns out Alvin is Theodore's FATHER!"

"Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts? They were both designed for the kids but it's the fathers who are always playing with them."

"Relationship Status: My dog was just licking my ear. I didn't stop her."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts."

"Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife? He's used to playing 18 holes."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... Bartender- Hey! Get out we don't serve your kind here! Mushroom- Why not? I'm a ""fungi""! Bam! You have all been ""punned""!"

"They say nothing in life that's worth having comes easily. Guess I'm really lucky to have my wife."