162598

Joke of the Day

"So an interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years How should I know, I don't have 20/20 vision!"

"Happy birthday to rapper Pitbull who is 34 today, or 238 in dog years for all the other Pitbulls."

"Why Sachin Tendulkar never sweat? Because he has huge fans!"

"A 6'-6"" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1"" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married."

"What drink did Hitler absolutely hate the taste of? Juice."

"Why is it called extra virgin olive oil? Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees."

"I drove home with a new bunny for my kids & all they did was moan. ""Why hasn't it got a head?"" ""I don't want to scrape it off the wheel."""

"When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the ""is""s to ""was""s on their Wikipedia page?"

"I read that 30% of the internet is pornography and that really makes me disappointed in humanity... ...70% of the internet is being completely wasted."

"Inside jokes are bitterly resented by the homeless."