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Joke of the Day
"Well, I've reached that awkward t-shirt size between 'XL' and 'killing myself.'"
Next Joke
"If you're ever lost in the woods, try to find a bear to kill. Their claws will provide four sweet breakfast pastries."
"Bruce Willis marks his height on his bedroom wall. He started doing it 2 years ago & it's just an increasingly thick line at the same height"
"What do you call a bear that's been in the rain? A drizzly bear, of course"
"Once you go black you never go back... Fuck."
"I want to be a brick layer, I'm shittin bricks left and right.haha"
"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."
"Why do neurologists think they're God? Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!"
"Q: What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour? A: A fuel injected pickle."
"I gave away all my dead batteries recently... ... free of charge, of course."