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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? They had a lawn-distance relationship."
Next Joke
"What do triangles do in the summer? They tan."
"When two idiots have the same dumb idea... special minds think alike"
"5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole."
"First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream."
"What do epidemiologists do? How about kinesiologists? Study epidemies....and kinesies."
"Why was the plumber stressed? He had a high pressure job"
"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"
"johnny depp looks like the person who does hair and make up for johnny depp"
"Advice on getting a girl everytime My friend told me to use oysters, they work every time. I replied bollox she will notice them floating in her drink."