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Joke of the Day

"First rule of brown girl club: Don't wear pink & white striped shirts; you'll look like Neopolitan ice cream."

"I like my women like I like my panic attacks Ready to fuck me without a moment's notice"

"How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess)."

"(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?"

"Yay! The Democrats won the World Series!"

"The only thing more annoying than Libertarians are the people who complain about Libertarians"

"Q: Did you hear about the bulimic bachelor party? A: The cake came out of the girl."

"What did the salad say before being eaten Lettuce go."

"doctor: u are overweight me: hah yeah doc: ok drop your pants me: ur giving mixed messages doc! doc: me: doc: me: so do u like the Indians"

"Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street count the legs divide by two and subtract one for the Jew who catches it."