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Joke of the Day

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"I'll bet the lady on this bus can't fart. She'd never shut up long enough to build the required pressure."

"What sound does a turkey now make? Coup."

"So the other day at the ATM an elderly lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her o_O"

"Dangerously attractive guitars get added to the sexy fenders register."

"I used poo to wash my hair. What a sham! Poo doesn't work at all!"

"TIL the host of Dirty Jobs is now a college proffesor who teaches students about money management and how spending affects the world around them. The course is called Mike Rowe Economics."

"I wanna get rid of this memory foam mattress, but it knows too much."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind, probably."

"I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle... ..it became herby."