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Joke of the Day

"The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph. Which, unfortunately, makes it illegal to ejaculate in a school zone when children are present."

"""NSFW"" Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can cum on its face afterwards."

"I know the best way to get downvoted. I'll tell you if someone gives me gold!"

"Sending everyone soggy empty boxes this year with a note - Hope you enjoy this expensive ice sculpture made in your honor. #CheapChristmas"

"Those goddamn Asian drivers....... Always crashing my PC"

"Next time you're at the gym close your eyes. It sounds like you're in a porno.."

"I never wear red because I don't want to anger any bulls disguised as cab drivers or businessmen."

"I'm concerned about my local funeral parlour closing down It's right on the high street, but every time I walk past it's dead in there"

"Warning: This movie may contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."

"What did the illiterate Mexican say to the funny looking bottle of mayonnaise? ""LMAO"""