162203
Joke of the Day
"I had beer at lunchtime and now I think I might be sitting in the wrong office"
Next Joke
"What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever"
"*Tweets funniest tweet ever *Dies laughing *Over 6 billion die laughing *Germany and Russia survive *Coz nobody left to explain the joke"
"A duck wearing a shoe walks into a bar The bartender says ""Hey Duck, I think you lost a shoe"" says the duck: ""No, I found one"""
"[roommate hears me come in] ""how was the date?"" [face sucked back and teeth showing like im skydiving] apparently, I'm allergic to shellfish"
"Ritalin and Adderall Market Research says they both tested well among focus groups."
"DUMBLEDORE: Who's brought evil into Hogwarts? HARRY: I think it's Malfoy, professor! DARK MYSTERIOUS NEW TEACHER: Oh come on"
"What's similar between drinking American beer and screwing in in a canoe? They're both fucking near water"
"I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."
"How can you make a moth ball ? Hit it with a fly swatter."