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Joke of the Day

"Cashier: Bag or plastic sir Me: Neither (scoops up forty items under my shirt and walks out)"

"A Goat walked into a bar, and the bartender said WTF is a Goat doing in here? the end"

"What's the worst time of the year for the Slinkies factory? Spring break. BA DUM TISS"

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"""If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace"" (from the back) He saw Creed live in 2003"

"A drinking game where you do a shot every time you are prompted to update Adobe"

"I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating"

"Did you hear about the camper who refused to wake up? He was intent on sleeping in."

"What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? A two-year-old vampire."

"It's so hot outside, I bet Jehovah's Witnesses are going to start telemarketing."