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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you trust a snowman? Because they're all a bunch of flakes"
Next Joke
"How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him."
"double midget jokes god save me When to know to kick a midget's balls? Ans - When he's next to your girlfriend and he says ""Her hair smells nice."" What do you call a midget vampire? Ans - Cocksucker."
"My mother in law called me today and said? ""Come quick. I think I'm dying"" I said, ""Call me back when you're sure""."
"Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless."
"A close talker, a loud talker, and a cougher walked into an elevator to punish me for not hitting the close door button fast enough."
"*strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying ""Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"""
"The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it's okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich"
"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."
"I'm not saying Ellen Pao is Hitler but.. I haven't seen the two of them in the same room.."