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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and tells a joke that has been posted on reddit before. I only know because no one would shut the fuck up about it."

"Before you assume that ghetto thugs are brainless, think about this: ""Yo, when you gonna let me tap that ass?"" is in iambic pentameter."

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."

"I need to polish up on my flirting skills... Hej kochanie, chcesz niektore pieprzy?"

"What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room? You washer and dryer."

"""Hey kids, you like candy?"" I said to my own kids, luring them into my van so I could get them to school and be at work on time."

"What's the worst thing for a cannibal to say to a friend? Your family has impeccable taste."

"My iPhone just autocorrected ""everyone"" to ""wartime"". I'm not entirely sure what that means but I'm pretty sure we're all going to die."

"Whats the stupidest animal in the Jungle? the Polar Bear"

"A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey look everybody! Sarah Jessica Parker is in the house!"""