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Joke of the Day

"Saying ""to each his own"" is the best way to tell someone you respect their right to have an extremely stupid opinion."

"What is E.T short for? Because he has little legs."

"Me: Treat yo self My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF"

"My secret to sleeping is I put my bed outside When I go to bed I'm always out cold"

"Two nuts were walking down the street.. One was assaulted"

"I found a new way to get my wife to wash the car. When ever it gets dusty I write the following on it: ""I wish my Wife was this Dirty""."

"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn"". Stupid firemen."

"How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey? Nuked"

"Why should you not shop for plywood? You'll get bored."

"What did the rich socialite's parrot say? Polly want a cracker with cavier please!"