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Joke of the Day

"You didn't have to say ""he's a male nurse."" When you said 'he' my psychic ability of gender discernment kicked in."

"PARENTS: When someone offers you drugs, you say no! ME (going out into the world): I'm ready [literally no one offers me drugs ever]"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Chain Smoker Barbie ...with Surgeon General's warning on box"

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"How does a coffee maker know it might be pregnant? It's period is a little LATTE."

"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open."

"How do you find an inconvenient proof? With an Al-Gore-rithm"

"IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying; you didn't know her personally. You only knew her musically & musically she died in '93"

"Currently working on an app for lonely people called ""Words With Cats""."