161807

Joke of the Day

"At his funeral. I lay my hand on your shoulder. I apply pressure, gently, in an attempt to move you from in front of the snack table."

"Did you hear about the new show, Scrabble on Broadway? It's a play on words."

"In North Korea, you actually do get freedom of speech. Just not freedom *after* your speech."

"The one knock knock joke I'm sure you've never heard. ...Silence...."

"What does a paedophile like to do while on vacation? Get some son."

"Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry? Because of the sand which is there."

"I just shook the crumbs out of my keyboard and they spelled ""GAYLORD."" My haters grow more powerful everyday."

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, "" SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"" but a train says, "" CHOO CHOO"""

"When a movie says ""Based on a true story."" it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people."

"What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives? A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!"