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Joke of the Day

"*Snowman wakes up in hospital* ""What happened to me?!"" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?"

"*reads sign* No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service! *takes off pants*"

"Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes? He wanted to go bear foot."

"Don't move to Mars because of president-elect Trump. Last I checked, it was a red state."

"I was going to take another trip to the pencil museum but decided it was pointless."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a **great** year."

"Don't worry, husbands. If something should happen to you, your wife already has the next one lined up."

"Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum."

"Some asshole just clogged my toilet"

"School is like a boner... long and hard, unless your Asian!"