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Joke of the Day

"My son fell asleep on a lego. He is in critical condition and will be getting surgery this morning. He is currently on morphine and has had several seizures."

"It's Cultural Appropriation Day.. O wait the Irish aren't Pussies."

"If Israel gets wiped off the map... Then we'll have to start calling it Wasrael"

"If you are ever attacked by a group of clowns... Always go for the juggler. . . . Credit: /u/CartoonsAreForKids"

"What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller."

"My new year's resolution... 2K, and 16 extra pixels."

"When women go to the restroom together that's so you can make out, right?"

"It concerns me when someone comes out of the bathroom stall and has to wash their hands all the way up to their elbows"

"Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high."

"TIL: Captain Hook ran an entire pirate ship. He did it single handedly too. He was a bit out of breath afterwards though."