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Joke of the Day

"Just found out I have a tumor in my ladyparts... It's one of those that can be known to have hair, teeth and bone in it. I don't what I should do. I'll probably just get an abortion though."

"Why can't French people count to 5? Because there's a **tree** in the way."

"if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank"

"I hate it... I hate it when people say something online and don't take credit for it. Pussies. Anonymous"

"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."

"What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs? a bell."

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10? Because 7 8 9"

"Every Thanksgiving I say my boyfriend broke up with me so my family lets me overeat without shame."

"What do tall people and black people have in common? They have no one to look up to."