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Joke of the Day

"I hate it... I hate it when people say something online and don't take credit for it. Pussies. Anonymous"

"What's the second to last thing the redneck said before he died? Shit, I can do that.. What about the last thing? Look, I'm doing it!!!"

"What did the blue priest say to the red peasant? Wolololo Wolololo!"

"I was having dinner .. .. .. with Garry Kasporov and on the table was a checkered tablecloth. It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt."

"Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently"

"I was close to becoming a rap god. But then 1 day my mom licked her thumb to wipe a smudge off my face as a kid & ruined all my street cred."

"Why don't you tell us what's really wrong, loud sneezers?"

"Everything is ""Our Lady"" this & ""Mother Mary"" that. You'd think church people would enjoy Your Mom jokes a lot more."

"Quick Joke # 3 Husband is praying before going to bed... Wife: What are you praying for? Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a bar QUICK! Bar the door and burn it down!"