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Joke of the Day

"A boy goes to the drug store to buy some condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks him 'No', the boy says, 'she isn't *that* ugly'"

"What's the difference between a black person and a monkey? Nothing"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It got its head cut off"

"So the suicide hotline is only for prevention and not for nominating people who should kill themselves. Sucks. I made a list and everything."

"Arianna Huffington said Donald Trump is not getting enough sleep, so why isn't he getting enough sleep? Apparently not having enough **Melania**tonin at night!"

"My life will forever be divided into two segments: before I ever used a bidet, and the Age of Enlightenment."

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling."

"Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?"

"What do you call a black hipster? An idiot."

"They say you get closer to God when you die.. because you stop existing"