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Joke of the Day

"What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer."

"What happened to the tree after it caught fire? It became entally handicapped"

"What's a mathematician's favorite kind of music? Logarithms"

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra... It was a booby trap."

"[first day working at the pizzeria] Me [cheeks full like a hamster]: boss, we've run out of everything"

"I used to think ""I hope I don't do anything stupid."" Now it's more like ""I hope whatever stupid shit I do at least fits in a tweet."""

"Microsoft tech support called me last night as a indian, I said ""Sorry your calling Indian Tech Support"""

"Coworker: I don't even know what's wrong with me. *sighs Me: Oo Oooo pick me pick me I know *raises hand with answer"

"[Friend] Kyle, u have to stop referring to your Ballet Club as a ""gang"" [Me & my gang all do 2 pirouettes and stop in unison] ""Not a chance"""

"I had Taylor Swift in my head all day... ...I just shouldn't shake her off, shake her off..."