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Joke of the Day
"If my memory foam mattress really had ""memory,"" it could write for Penthouse."
Next Joke
"How do Asians see the world? In widescreen."
"I had sex with somebody and caught their cold. I have snyphilis."
"GF: I think I'm gunna start a Twitter account Me: *whips head around* I'll help you set it up! *Grabs GF's phone and hurls it into the Sun*"
"Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection? Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)"
"Officer: ""Do you know why I'm standing here?"" Me: ""You got all C's in High School?"""
"What Do You Call A Galloping Musician? Ludvig Van BeetHOOFen."
"How many bears could Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears?"
"""Call your blonde friend, your black friend & your Asian friend!"" - every cellphone ad ever"
"Pizza will never hurt your feelings."