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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection? Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)"

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Well, here he is: [Prince Albert in a can](http://imgur.com/65aBahK) EDIT: Anyone remember that old-old joke?"

"I think my girlfriend has had 61 lovers before me... Because she calls me her sixty second lover"

"Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors."

"How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production."

"Why didn't Hitler drink tequila? Because it made him mean."

"Bob has 50 cookies. He eats 45. What does he have now? Diabetes. Bob has diabetes."

"WTF is a cup of raw asparagus? Next this fucking diet will tell me to eat 4 stalks of powered sugar. A bale of jello. 32 inches of chicken."

"What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadrabador"

"How many cannibals does it take to make a sandwich? Two."