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Joke of the Day

"How'd you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake.."

"Why are London buses red? Because they have to come every 10 minutes"

"The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear."

"When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days."

"How do you win an election? By having people believe that you've won an election."

"I like my women how I like my rum. Dark and full of coke."

"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."

"Why did the Pakistani cook get fired? He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite."

"What does Britain and a dead pig have in common? Both have been fucked by David Cameron."

"Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die? Because they didn't Lajka."