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Joke of the Day

"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."

"I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute."

"It's ok to laugh during sex...just don't point."

"What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things? A mountain gloat."

"A student sits at his desk and begins his economics exam. He opens the paper and reads the first question. To Germany, how much is Greece worth - 1 mark"

"What do you call an Arab oil baron with Parkinson's? Sheik Shake"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, feminists cant change anything!"

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"""

"What happened to the plan of starting a book club? It got shelved."

"Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid"