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Joke of the Day

"It's ok to laugh during sex...just don't point."

"Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I don't jam after drinking a gallon of nut butter."

"Why do lesbians like radishes? Because they like to get their daikon."

"A sexist, a racist and a homophobe walk into a bar Bartender: 'What will it be, Mr Trump?'"

"My snowboarding career has really gone downhill."

"When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day."

"What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common? They both have early termination fees"

"My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE."

"When I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you would suffice, Not this ""Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing in my house?!"" nonsense."