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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute."

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"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive.. They would eventually find me attractive"
"I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro..."
"What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. :D"
"If I say I love you, don't read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too."
"I wasn't sure about having sex with aliens Butt fuck 'et"
"i stand up too fast fromthe toilet and some warm pee lands on my phone activiting the touch screen & texts the word 'autumn' to my aunt"
"I put the STD in ""STUD"" ... all I need is ""U"""
"I came across the most beautiful girl i've ever seen today at the supermarket.. She wasn't the least bit happy, even after I offered to clean it all up and buy her a new top.."
"What do you call a urinary tract infection caused in a virgin? Immaculate Infection"
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