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Joke of the Day

"Why are they called Tuna Fish? Because they don't swim in pairs. Are there two of those fish? Nahhh."

"Q: What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail? A: A horse and rider."

"""Donald is intensely loyal. To family, friends, employees, country."" -His 3rd wife"

"I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly."

"What's grey and comes in quarts? [NSFW] Elephants."

"What dog has money? A bloodhound because he is always picking up scents (cents)."

"Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant? It took too long to pull out."

"[Stock market crashes] ""Oh no, I better check on my investments!"" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]"

"Who decided to call it a proctologist and not an analyst?"

"What do engineers use for birth control? Their personality."