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Joke of the Day

"[Stock market crashes] ""Oh no, I better check on my investments!"" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]"

"What do you call someone who knows all? Nostril-damus. &nbsp; Works better if you read the joke out loud."

"Did you hear about the SJW that shot up that mall? The news put out a trigger warning."

"This one's a classic from my childhood: Say the letter ""X"" ten times fast. \\_()_/ "

"Last night at an Indian diner the server walks up to me and asks ""Curry Ok Sir?"" I said ""Alright, just one song and then you can fuck off""."

"whats the deal with shemales? you don't call them she, and they're not male"

"I asked my waiter how long my pizza would be... his reply was, not very long."

"What's the difference between a baby shower and a bukkake? Nothing."

"Turkey Me: you're a turkey GF: well, I do like being stuffed"

"The seven dwarfs were in the hot tub feeling happy... ...so Happy left."