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Joke of the Day

"Marriage counsellor: What's the problem? Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad. MC: And how do you feel, Stephen? Me: With my hands."

"Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that didn't let it's daughter go to prom"

"I think I ate too much salmon over Christmas I just tried to run up an escalator that was going down."

"Uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh uh huh uh uh huh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh huh Me, Rap battling"

"I went to a job interview at EA The interviewer, after reading my CV, said: ""I see that this CV was clearly printed on two pages, but I only have one. Where's the other one?"" ""Page two is 19.99$"""

"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"

"""Well, my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape."" Bob Toblerone to rival chocolate manufacturer."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? 5 years later your job will still suck."

"What's the easiest thing to lift with a forklift? A palette."

"What do you call an Asian male with no penis? An Asian porn star"