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Joke of the Day

"Just found out I've been eating women's energy bars for the past few months. No side effects except making 30% less money than I used to"

"What do you do if you see a fireman? You put it out, man!"

"The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby.."

"My girlfriend dumped me on a fishing trip. She left me reeling."

"We are happily married She's happy, and I am married!"

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don't know, don't care."

"What's the difference between a stoner and a Jew? A stoner gets baked more than once"

"*throws goods on conveyor belt* Cashier: is that all sir? Me:""Nope. You got change for a trophy?"""

"Why did the boy die? Because he ate honey nectar and then went to the store and tried to buy some mustard and got eaten by a Stegosaurus"

"How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight"