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Joke of the Day

"Coworker just said ""I need a thick black one."" She was talking about a marker but I'm still reporting her to HR for sexual harassment."

"The number of times you say ""Don't judge me"" is directly proportional to the amount of things you do that you know are wrong."

"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."

"I like my women how I like my salad dressing Extra Virgin"

"What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently? Americas already got two running for president."

"How Do You Break Up With Your Girlfriend? www.AshleyMadison.com"

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"

"You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!"

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"What did the fisherman say to the fisherwoman? Your place or mine"