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Joke of the Day

"Your girl may be jealous of the time you spend on your phone. To be fair, it has 4G and she only has one, and it's hard to find its signal"

"After 5 vodka and Red Bulls, you start wearing your Lindsay Lohan costume."

"If you keep laughing then you'll always have the last laugh."

"How long does the perfect job interview last? Exactly as long as a blowjob takes."

"My ex-wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! Ya see its funny because marriage is terrible."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? Nsfw You can't marmalade your cock up someones ass."

"what do you call 4 mexicans in a boat with a whole in it? Quattro cinco"

"Say no to drugs! Then again, if you're talking to drugs, you're probably already on drugs."

"""Oh, you're left handed?"" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show"

"What do you call a really really big ant? A GIANT! Now what do you call a baby ant? an Infant! What do you call an ant thats into business? A Merchant! please post more ant jokes if you know of any."