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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm? He has a flashing light."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog !"

"I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer."

"What do you call an alien from Austria? Austalian"

"TIFU by having the bomb squad called to my party. They said it was the bomb."

"Did you hear about the raisin that slept with another raisin's wife? No? You're obviously not up to date with currant affairs."

"NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in. MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, it was the selfish Rooster that came first and the Hen never even finished."

"What do you do when you love a hotel? You Mariott"

"Sometimes I want to ask certain people, ""So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"""