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Joke of the Day

"Limericks : Think this needs tweaking... There was a young man from Constantinople Whose limericks didn't always rhyme They finished too short."

"What would you get if Harry Potter tried to kill Darth Vader? *A Vader Cadaver*"

"Astronaut: Dave, that's not necessary in zero-G. Penguin: [flapping wings] Just let me have this."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how they got in there I will never know."

"Don't you just hate it when you finally get the courage to confess your love to someone and they just stare at you, meow and walk away."

"Drinking Remember, it isn't drinking alone when you're pregnant."

"You know whats the problem with Proctologists.... They always butt in."

"GUESS WHAT I SAW! Wood."

"Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed! "

"Candy Crushers keep inboxing me saying that they need ""lives"" as if I didn't already know that."