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Joke of the Day

"Limericks : Think this needs tweaking... There was a young man from Constantinople Whose limericks didn't always rhyme They finished too short."

"I don't know what the next iPhone looks like... But what I can tell you, its going to be a big 6S"

"A robber comes up to a man in a suit and threatens him... -Give me YOUR money! -But, I'm a ... politician. -Okay then,give me MY money!"

"Do cats like Deadmau5? I mean he is a mouse himself, but maybe they like the concept?"

"If the shortened nickname for the Buccaneers is the Bucs, the Jaguars are the Jags, and the Patriots are the Pats... Then what do we call the Titans?"

"The doctor gave me 4 months to live. So I shot him. The judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."

"TIFU I'm like a 4/10 and she was a total 9."

"I never know what to do with my hands during sex. I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm."

"I was recently diagnosed with mesothelioma it's tough sometimes, but I'm doing asbestos I can."

"When I blow myself up in a streetside cafe I expect 72 fleshlights in heaven."