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Joke of the Day

"Love is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed."

"""Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it."" -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation"

"I think I'm going to start taking helium People are speaking very highly of it."

"Social Security exists in 60 years... That's the joke. There's no more to it"

"Did you hear about the guy who ran over himself? He asked a kid to go across the street to get a pack of smokes, the kid said ""No!"", so he ran over himself."

"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"

"Eye jokes aren't funny They're really cornea."

"A Native American just published a novel Critics consider it a Seminole work."

"I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance. Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening."

"Would you like to know the best way to avoid drama? Just stop going to plays!"