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Joke of the Day

"Where do cows go when they die? Burgertory"

"Fake friends are around when you are cool. True friends are around even if they think you're a fool."

"""Not much. Just hanging out, hoping for World War III."" - Map makers"

"When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat"

"I feel a spree coming on. It's either shopping or killing, I haven't decided yet."

"Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4."

"When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age."

"Why couldn't the Coast Guard save the hippie? Because he was wayyy far out man."

"Why are black people fast runners? They have 3 long strong legs."

"I went for a run and got back two minutes later because I forgot something, I forgot I'm fat and can't run for more than two minutes."