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Joke of the Day

"When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45. They all think I look AMAZING for my age."

"I decided to play agar.io again... Now I hate my cellf"

"Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee? Tsarbucks"

"Did you hear about the two nuclear scientists who are no longer speaking to each other? They had a falling out..."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? It's easy to make the same joke about 9/11."

"What book does a gay horse read? 50 Shades of HaaAAaaayyy."

"When I was in college I met a girl at a bar and we exchanged phone numbers... But then every time the phone rang it was for her. It was very confusing and annoying"

"Just pulled up next to a car identical to mine & accidentally made eye contact with the driver. I think that means we have to race on green."

"Q: Why couldn't the woman buy a bakery shop? A: She couldn't raise enough dough."

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? I'll tell you at 1000 upvotes"