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Joke of the Day

"I feel a spree coming on. It's either shopping or killing, I haven't decided yet."

"My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon."

"What do you call a Whore that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation? Where my dogs at?"

"What's the difference between a mailbox and a cow's ass? ""I don't know."" ""Then you shouldn't deliver mail."""

"For breakfast this morning... I had ebola cereal!"

"""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out"

"I hope Prince Harry and Emma Watson last because if they have a son, it will be the half-blood prince."

"How can you know a girl is from Japan? Her pussy is blurry."

"What do you call someone who murders a toucan, a leprechaun, and a honey bee? A cereal killer!"