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Joke of the Day

"I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cereal ! Cereal who ? Cereal pleasure to meet you !"

"Studies have shown horses exposed to marijuana are less stable and unsafe to ride. So get off your high horse."

"I went camping yesterday and... It was in tents! BAZINGAAA LMFAO I die when I thought of this good joke BAZINGA x1000"

"How do you castrate an Amish man? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Internet Explorer: so about last night Me: Oh, i used you for flash. IE: Are we back together, am i your default? Me: don't make this weird"

"What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick? Nailed it"

"There are two reasons I don't give money to the homeless 1. They use it for drugs and alcohol. 2. I need it for drugs and alcohol."

"is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat"

"We decided to name our unborn child something that represents where it was conceived. Only 7 more months until baby Uber is born!"