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Joke of the Day

"I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me."

"For their honeymoon, Mr. Sine and his missus Cosine Went to the beach and got a Tan. When they went back home, it took a Sec to find they needed a Cot."

"If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage."

"My dad is my inspiration ...cause you never know when it's gonna hit you EDIT: missed a word"

"What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards."

"T NOW!"" What do we want? ""MORE TIME TRAVEL JOKES!"" When do we want them? ""RIGH"

"I've hit hard times, and to make money I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner. Because right now it's just gathering dust."

"How do you catch a unique cat? Unique up on it"

"Member when ""Member Berries"" wasn't the main remember meme? Pepperidge farm remembers."

"If your urine is clear, you're hydrated. If it's yellow, you're dehydrated. If it's white, you're shaking your dick too much."