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Joke of the Day

"There are two reasons I don't give money to the homeless 1. They use it for drugs and alcohol. 2. I need it for drugs and alcohol."

"At first, I didn't like my haircut. But then it grew on me."

"If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom"

"What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake? This is all your fault!"

"The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 miles away"

"Why was six afraid of seven... ...because seven was a registered six offender."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."

"My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean. She's a mail carrier."

"Sometimes I have a life and other times I surf YouTube videos looking for a good fight in the comments section."

"A man comes into the doctor's office the doctor says: ""Clean that up yourself."""