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Joke of the Day

"Why do people eat carrots to help their eyesight? They should be eating oranges because they have vitamin C. haha"

"I found my girlfriend's mute button! It's located on her jugular. Only catch is that I had to use a knife to reach it."

"A lot of people tell me I look like a blind Channing Tatum I don't see it"

"What do you call a snake with a degree in engineering? A Boa Constructor"

"Best Husband A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ""I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."" The woman replies, ""I'll miss you..."""

"All the adults who used to tell me ""When you're older you'll understand"" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news"

"You can't lose a homing pigeon... If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon."

"A computer architect walks up to an elevator and sees a sign that says ""Out of Order"".. .. and says ""Even better!"" and gets into it."

"Have you tried african food? -No. -They haven't tried it either."

"Soon every possible joke will be written on twitter and we will be forced to face our feelings."