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Joke of the Day

"Why do girls have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talking to them *Peter Griffin* hehehehe"

"What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed? Brush their teeth!"

"You know, I really didn't like my new haircut... But then it grew on me."

"I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled ""Intel"""

"If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree."

"Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's...[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff"

"Whenever someone says ""Let's kill two birds with one stone"", I wonder what they did wrong. Probably some kind of religious violation."

"A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Hos."

"What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin? ""LINE IT!"""