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Joke of the Day
"Why did the atoms cross the road? It was time to split."
Next Joke
"Hopefully ""researching tweets"" will hold up in a court of law when the prosecution presents my google search history as evidence."
"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!"
"There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them. Or that you're in their house again."
"*joins Buddhist monastery* *withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training* So, vending machine that didn't drop my funyuns. We meet again."
"A Photon Checks into a hotel... The bellhop ask, ""can I help you with your luggage?"" It replies, ""I don't have any, I'm traveling light."""
"Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon."
"The only person I want to see do a Harlem Shake video is Michael J. Fox."
"A young girl accused of apostasy... (NSFW) Loves dick but prefers to eat pussy, She loves bacon with eggs, And would spread her legs, For anyone whose name lacked apostrophes."
"Suzy Why did little Suzy fall of the swing set? She has no arms... Knock knock? Who's there? Not Suzy"