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Joke of the Day

"A Priest a Rabbi and a Nun walk into a bar The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this some kind of joke?"""

"If someone steals my lunch from the fridge at work, I get on the office PA system and do the Liam Neeson speech from Taken."

"As long as the stupid phrase ""interracial relationship"" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a ""color-coordinated relationship."""

"What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon? The Bear Glare."

"W.I.F.E Will Investigate & Find out Everything"

"I saw a midget carrying a TV out of Best Buy I asked, ""Hey, do you need help with that flat-screen?"" He replied, ""Fuck off, this is a Kindle!"""

"My brother just asked me what 'FAP' meant... Shit! Now I am starting to regret leaving comments on his missus facebook pics."

"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."

"Me: Did you play video games all day? 9: No Me: What else did you do? 9: I ate lunch"

"It's not that I don't want kids, it's just that I don't want a minivan."