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Joke of the Day

"I bet the reason Kim Kardashian hasn't named her baby is because she doesn't know she's supposed to."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalottapus."

"Ugh. ""What's wrong honey?"" My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*"

"If you have Bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the Bee holder."

"What did the skim milk say to the farmer I will never be whole again."

"Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid."

"What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug? Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically."

"I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago."

"Please don't ask me if I like your new haircut, because I don't and now you made me lie."

"You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film ""Helicopter Shots of People Walking."""