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Joke of the Day

"Pretty cool how the universe lets me know I'll be bumping into my ex by making me spill coffee on my shirt."

"Why is it good that the Vietnamese man won first place? It's a Nguyen-win situation."

"I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism I can't remember the last time I blacked out."

"there's nothing quite as American as eating when you're not even hungry"

"Donut that is out of this world!!! What do you call a donut that is out of this world? -----Astronaut-----"

"How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber? You ask them to pronounce unionize."

"saw a chameleon today So it's safe to say it was a pretty shit chameleon"

"heard on The View this morning (courtesy of Fozzie Bear) What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?......Half-way."

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a ho-down."

"The last time I was involved in sexual intercourse was when I was a sperm."